Lambat

Cikgu bertanya kepada seorang murid yang lambat datang ke sekolah.
" Ah Beng, kenapa lambat datang ke sekolah hari ini?"
"Jam lambat bangun, Cikgu."(Hehehe...).

Janggut

Seorang imam yang punya janggut panjang memberi kotbah yang baik sekali sehingga seorang tua yang duduk didepan menitiskan airmata. Selepas sembayang, imam itu bertanya kepada orang tua itu.

"Bahagian mana kotbah yang menyentuh bapa tadi sehingga menitikkan airmata?"

"Sebenarnya, minggu lalu kambing saya hilang. Jadi, tadi bila saya melihat janggutmu yang panjang itu, saya teringatkan kambing saya."

(Hehehe......)

(Bah! Lain kali jangan terlalu awal mengira hasil. Kata orang, jangan mengira anak ayam sebelum telur menetas.)

Bapa kau bah tuu!

Anak kecil bertanya," Mak orang yang lawa dan kampis(kecil) perut didalam album tuu siapa?"
Mak: "Bapa kau bah tuu..."
Jawapan maknya ini membuat anak menjadi  bingung@ garuh kepala.
Anak: "Jadi.....siapa lelaki yang buncit perut yang ada dirumah kita nii?
Mak""Bapa kau bah tuu!
Anak: "Jadi....saya ada dua bapa dan mak punya dua laki kah?
Mak:" Celaka punya anak!"
Anak:" Jadi, saya anak Si Celaka kah?
(Mak lagi marah.Bah......ajar anak bagus-bagus.)

Goft

Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an

exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he

just had to play golf.

So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and

persuaded him to say Mass for him that day.


As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton

headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away.


This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew

from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone.

After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in

church!


At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while

looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going

to let him get away with this, are you?"


The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not."


Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight

towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell

into the hole.


IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!


St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked,

"Why did you let him do that?"


The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"

(Note: Please do not skip Church service).