Dusun

Guru: "Boboi...Kau pandaikah cakap Bahasa Dusun?"
Boboi: "Pandai bah Cigu! Kalau ianya didalam Bahasa Malaysia."

(Nota: Bah! Kada lingai balajar tokoh gia doh boros doh Dusun kio..)

A tap on the driver

A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver said,"Please, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me."
The passenger, who was also frightened, apologized and said he didn't realize that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.
To which the driver replied, "I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at all. Today is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a funeral car for the last 25 years."

Speak inglish not so good

There was this Asian lady married to an American gentleman and they lived in Honolulu . The poor lady was not very proficient English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy a leg of mutton. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home with mutton legs. The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast. The lady got what she wanted. The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store and asked her husband to..........................................................................................................................................
Hey! What are you thinking?! .....Helloooooooooo, her husband speaks English!!